I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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