i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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