paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
