ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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