remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
