What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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