You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
