I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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