Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
