just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
