Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
