you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
