nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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