I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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