On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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