She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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