He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
