i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
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