I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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