at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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