Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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