I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
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as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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