Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
