I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
