Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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