Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
