I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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