Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
