saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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