im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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