This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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