she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
This is the prime rib incident all over again
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
