Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
