you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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