What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
