How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
too bad you live with your parents still
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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