Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
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I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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