For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
