Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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