saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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