I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
