I never want to see another naked old woman again.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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