He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
