Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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