My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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