i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
