Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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