I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
