Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
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