I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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