Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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