and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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