Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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