Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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