and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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