Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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