cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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