so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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