god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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