i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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