You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
a search helicopter?!
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
This is the high leading the old right now
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
