hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
