she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
This house was built for laser tag.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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